Parenting is a great tool for self-evolution.
As a parent, do you often feel pressured with the responsibility of raising a child? Do you feel energy-drained, sleep-deprived and chronically tired? Are you losing it with your child—getting angry, and then regretting your words and actions? Do you struggle to convince your child to behave in a particular way, which often leads to raising your voice, losing control over your words, and even fighting? Do you feel you are ‘failing’ as a parent? Does this make you feel sad, depressed, overwhelmed, stressed, frustrated and angry?
Through the science of brain-heart coherence, you can transform negative emotions into elevated emotions, and master the art of coherent parenting. You can take control over your thoughts, feelings and behavior—become mindful of your words and actions. You can replace these feelings of guilt and regret which are holding you back by a lasting peace that can be achieved by anchoring yourself in the present moment. You can learn how to let go of the pressure by tapping into your inner intelligence which ‘knows’ the best answer for any situation. You can learn how to live spontaneously, trusting that you always have access to that innate intelligence, and that you can access it whenever the situation demands it.
By understanding the physiology of the thoughts-emotions loop, you can learn to ‘override’ it, and shift your ‘default’ mode toward a state of coherence. When you center yourself in your heart, focusing on elevated emotions such as love, gratitude, empathy and contentment, you create a coherent heart which then signals the brain to reshape your thoughts, perceptions, attitudes and beliefs. Rather than reinforcing the same mental-emotional-behavioral loop, you begin to develop new habits and become a 'new you’—a healthier, more energetic, more successful and a more joyful parent! You can understand the triggers that bring you into a state of stress and anxiety, and you will be better at identifying and recognizing the triggers that make you react rather than respond with awareness to any challenges. You will become more aware of your role in socially conditioning your child. Your child will feel always loved and accepted.
Become a happier and better parent by embracing coherent parenting
When your inner world transforms, your relationships change automatically. Instead of waiting for your circumstances to change, or for others to begin to behave according to your expectations, you can master yourself—your own thoughts, feelings and behavior—and feel peaceful, joyful and happy now. Happy, calm, confident and joyful parents are capable of bringing out the same qualities in their children. Your impatience, anger, frustration and confusion induce stress, feelings of insecurity and fear in your children, conditioning their minds to accept these as default, baseline states of being.
Therefore, coherent parenting starts from you—from your own state of personal coherence. If your body, thoughts, emotions and behavior are out of sync, then you are not in control of your energy, you are disconnected from your innate intelligence, and you do not live up to your highest potential. As long as you live in a state of incoherence, through your personal energy field you are sending mixed signals into your environment. Your interactions and relationships with others—most importantly with your child—will also be incoherent, confusing, and mostly challenging.
Babies and small children are particularly susceptible to the so-called ‘emotional contagion’—they are very sensitive to the ‘vibes’ in their environment (the emotions of their parents, and of every other person present nearby). Scientific studies have shown that the electromagnetic waves created by the heartbeat of one person can be detected by the nervous system and the brain of another person who is in the same vicinity. More specifically, in the context of parent-child link, researchers have identified heart-brain interactions between a mother and her baby. An interesting finding is that, when the mother is attentive—or ‘tuned into’ her baby, she becomes more sensitive to the electromagnetic signals generated by the baby’s heart.
The heart rhythm patterns of the parent is very important in the development of a child’s brain. During the nursing period, the child’s heart rate variability (HRV) pattern synchronizes with that of the mother, showing how important it is that the mother is in a coherent state. Studies conducted by the researchers at the HeartMath Institute have mapped out the child’s pathway of learning, especially relevant during the first year of life: It starts from the electrical field of the parent’s heart—goes though the electrical field of the child’s brain—reaches the electrical field of the brain.
The human touch serves as an important medium of synchronization. When the parents touch their children, the electrical energy produced by the parent’s heart can be measured in the child’s EEG scans or brainwaves. Therefore, the parental touch is extremely beneficial when the parent is in a state of emotional and mental coherence, leading to lifelong well-being and resilience. On the other hand, feeling deprived of parental love in childhood leads to higher risk of developing illness and disease in adulthood.